I’m sorry for posting this here, I know none of you will care or read it.
I’ve been holding in so much pain, too much pain. Pain from a long time ago, when I didn’t know any better.
It confuses me to think that I have people around me now that love me as I love them, yet I continue to feel bouts of this pain.
I don’t know why I keep thinking about the past.
Some part of me wonders if I will be stuck in it forever.
Each time I go to sleep feeling like this, I wake up convinced I’m over it. But I end up here, over and over again.
I’m not going to wallow or complain about somebody else because even though I’m struggling right now, the difference between my pain now and my pain in the past is that I know that I am important.
I am the focus, not anyone else.
I will not give anyone that power again.
I don’t really know what to say, I feel nonsensical.